I was in a hugely troubled marriage and I wanted to make it work no matter what. I was married a man 17 years my senior. We both had full-time jobs and had five mature offspring between us but no children together. As the years went on in our marriage the stress kept increasing. Things started to deteriorate rapidly to the point that I moved myself into the other bedroom after four years.
When we first got married, we bought a house on the beach in Southern California and by pooling all our resources together we had enough down to purchase the home when the real estate market was at the lowest low. It was a perfect time to buy but we had only five days to secure a loan, do credit checks and come up with a substantial down payment. An equal offer loomed. We made it happen in those five days. It was truly a “dream house” and we wanted to start a lifetime in it together.
The next five years were spent updating and making the house beautiful…..but as it was becoming beautiful the stress of our relationship was really taking its toll. I felt as though I was walking in a mine field with his temper going off easily and it was not a pleasant place to be when that happened. I knew that it would be better to leave than try and fix the relationship any longer. At one point, when I suggested we sell the house, he screamed, “Haha don’t EVEN think of ever selling this place. I am staying here until I die!”
During this intense period of time, my moments of calm would be when I went to lunch with my friend, Lisa. One particular lunch she said she had started reading, Gary Renard’s, “Disappearance of the Universe” and suggested that I read it too, that it was great and answered the basic questions we had always been trying to figure out. So I bought the book and we shared the highlights together and from it we decided to do “A Course In Miracles” together. We did the daily lessons and would not pressure each other if we missed a day or five. It was still ok- we just kept on doing the daily lessons, and we had each other to talk about the lessons. It was very motivating for each other and kept us both going and engaged until all lessons were completed.
Having complete trust with what we had been learning, I decided to place forgiveness as my top priority in my present day-to-day life. I needed to forgive my situation and see it differently. I asked myself, “How can my son and I leave safely and live a normal life?”. It felt so overwhelming. I kept forgiving myself, my spouse, my situation, and every aspect of my life that “popped up” in a negative way in my mind, every day and just about every hour.
I finally built up the nerve again to ask if he would put the house up of sale. He agreed, but only if we asked for a ridiculously high price. He would not budge on the price but I felt at least there was some movement in our situation. I kept up my forgiveness and letting go thoughts, daily and even hourly. We did get a couple of people who looked at it, and even one potential buyer, but then the potential buyer’s mother passed away suddenly and their priorities changed. The listing expired and my ex refused to relist it and/or lower the price.
Several months went by and I was fighting feelings of frustration with forgiveness daily, and hourly. Shortly after Thanksgiving, there was a knock on the door. It was a local realtor, a very beautiful, down to earth woman, who said that she knew our house wasn’t for sale now, but she had a client who would like to buy our house, would we consider their offer and sell it? And if we agreed, they would like it in 30 days. “OK, I will listen to the offer. I have nothing to lose,” said my soon to be ex.
The price they offered was the price he said he wouldn’t refuse. He almost did not agree, because he thought he could negotiate a higher price, but the real estate agent said they did not want any problems and it would be “off the table” in 48 hours. I held my breath for his approval, and he capitulated to the offer! This was truly a sign of a miracle in progress! All parties agreed and the 30 day period began to tick. The close of escrow was shortly after Christmas. It was a new year and a new start to life for me and my son. My ex and I were able to divorce amicably without lawyers. After a few years of not talking with my ex, we recently had reason to communicate with each other. As we chatted about our kids and caught up, I realized what a miracle is was that we had reached this state in our relationship where we still cared about each other but had both moved on happily.
The greatest gift forgiveness and letting go has given me is peace of mind. I want to share my miracle house sale story and what forgiveness has done for me as it was the beginning of a life dedicated to forgiveness.
Afterward: The local realtors still talk about the transaction and it has become a legend in our area because we managed to sell the house at a sky-high price exactly when the market peaked!
Share This Story